Confessions
by leeksandmisosoup
Summary: Dual thoughts from Ceres and Mikagi on each other. [Two Parts]
1. Confessions: Ceres

**Confessions**

Disclaimer: All Ayashi no Ceres and Ceres: A Celestial Legend characters and plot belongs to Yuu Watase.

Ceres POV

I loathe you.

More than anything, I loathe you. With all my existence. Because, I love you. With all my heart.

Didn't you know? I would've told you, but where I come from men are just seeds. They produce the seed that will bear me a child. You were one of them. But, my feelings were completely different with you than they were with anyone else. With you, there was always a lovely throb in my chest every time you smiled at me, looked at me, glanced at me. All the others were just things; things to use, then lose. They were nothing like you. Never like you.

All the flowers you presented me with; I cherished them for as long as I could.

Your downfall was my fault.

If I hadn't given you some of my power, if I hadn't drove you to the brink of insanity, if I had never existed…

I wonder what you're family would look like. More beautiful children? An ordinary wife? Love? That was something our marriage seemed to not have. Love… it seems like a strange concept.

Do you think I've ever felt love before? Never. At least, not until I had met you.

I loved you with all my heart, my body, my soul. But, why? Why did you hit my child? OUR child? Didn't you feel any burning in your chest? Or was it my fault for being so beautiful that you declared to never let any steal me away, not even our own child?

I wish you could hold me, Mikagi.

And I'm sorry, but I had to. Those scars… do you still bear them? Your death tore me apart, even though I was the one who had ended your mortal life. I never realized how short it could be…

Those earrings that are the same as my mana… I still have them. Remember that spot you loved to touch? The one on the small of my back? That's where it is. Could you… could you, maybe, touch me there? Just a little, so I can remember what it felt like to be loved by you.

And I'm sorry, but I should have known. How could you not be possessive of me? I admit that I'm beautiful, intelligent, powerful, and immortal. But do you think I would have left you if another man waltzed by? At the time, if it had been over ten years in the past: probably. Then: never. Now: maybe.

Did you have to lock me away? I know you were doing all of that for me… but that wasn't you. I didn't want you to do that… I wanted you: the person you were before. Before my power, before our children, before me…

WHY! Damn you! Why! You destroyed yourself just so that I'd stay? Don't you see? I would've stayed anyway! I hate you! I really hate you! I do! I do!

I would do anything for you. Anything.

Don't you understand? I loved you. More than anything in the world, I loved you.

Mikagi, let us sleep, and let Aya and Tooya be together for the time being.

And, Mikagi? I love you…

Fin.

Musical Muse: Ryuusei by TiA


	2. Confessions: Mikagi

**Confessions: Part Two**

Disclaimer: All Ayashi no Ceres and Ceres: A Celestial Legend characters and plot belong to Yuu Watase.

Mikagi POV

I despise you.

Really, I really do. If you gave me a knife, I'd probably stab you so much that you'd be nothing more than a bloody mess on the floor. If you gave me a stick, I'd probably beat you until you were black and blue and no other colour.

I-I-I… I love you so much.

Don't you believe me?

Want to know why I needed your power? To protect you, and to always protect you. You always came first.

But then… but then I got power hungry. I had to _prove_ to you that I could protect you and our children. So I killed them. All of them.

Didn't you realize that they could have taken you from me? Didn't you realize that they would have been awestruck by your beauty? Don't you think you would have gone with them?

I had to show that you were mine, and all mine. You. Are. _Mine_. And you will be for ever. You married me, didn't you? Marriage is for life. And until you stop reincarnating yourself, I'll chase you for ever. Because you are mine. And don't forget it.

God, I want to slit your throat. You little slut. You kissed that-that fat, ugly swine! That stupid, idiotic, let-me-use-my-idiotic-cooking-utensils-to-fight Yuuhi!

My God, I really _do_ despise you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! God, it makes me _so angry_ that I can't strangle you!

You love it, don't you? You love to be the one to _tease_ the boys, don't you? You love to be the one to make the boys _swoon_ over you, don't you!

God, I want to _kill_ you! But… I can't. 'Cause… I love you. Tell me you love me, too. Please.

Didn't I take care of you? Didn't I give you things? Didn't I give you children? God damn it! You piss me off! You really piss me off!

Look at me. Are these the eyes of a crazy man? Or are they the eyes of a man in love? They should be the second. Because I love you so much it hurts.

Did you have to run away? I mean, really. I was taking _care_ of you! And, don't get angry, but the child was asking for it. I mean, no. I didn't mean to hit our baby. I meant to get to you. You _had_ to stay with me. You're mine.

Lying here with you reminds me of those days back in the grass field. The days when we used to just lie around like this because we had nothing to do. I love lying here in your lap. It's so… comforting.

He, I can feel it. The mana earrings feel so… interesting. I could run my fingers over their intricate designs all day. Er, I mean, all eternity. That's the time we have in here, right? Eternity with you… I wouldn't mind that.

And you ask me if I loved you. Pfft. Like that was even a question.

Couldn't you tell? I never talk about my emotions, but I thought you knew. Didn't I show you with my actions? I-I can't believe I didn't.

There's nothing more I'd rather do than spend eternity with you.

Ceres, if there's anything I ever do that confuses you, tell me.

And, Ceres? I love you…

**Fin.**

**Musical Muse: **A Whole New World from Disney's Aladdin


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